John 15:13 - No Greater Love

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends.

John 15:13

How do we "lay down our lives for our friends"? This is another phrase that is so often quoted that I had to google just to be able to wrap my mind around how this can be practically applied. Yes, Jesus laid down his life for us, so we should lay down our lives for our friends. In the verse right before this, Jesus says, "Love each other in the same way I have loved you." Unless we somehow find ourselves in the midst of a zombie apocalypse or The Hunger Games, I am not sure how I would end up following the literal meaning of this by physically dying for my friends and family like Jesus did for us.

Our laying down of our lives ends up looking a lot different than physical death, but it's still ... hard. Seeking to emulate the One who was willing to lay down His life to make a relationship right is a tall order.

Am I able to approach my friends with the selfless love of Jesus?

I've been sitting here typing and deleting a lot of answers to this question that, to me, all sound just, too ... generic.

I obviously can't do this. Even at my best, I still have ME in mind. For me, for any of us, living a life of sacrifice is going to come down to a work of the Holy Spirit empowering us to do what we really can't.

So.... list format here... random ideas... freestyle brainstorming... GO!

What can I do to lay down my life for my friends?

• Defer to others in the matter of preference.
• Your opinion does not always have to win.
• What does my friend need (food, clothing, a hug, a good sound kick in the butt)? Am I able to supply this? Am I willing to supply this?
• Do I seek first to understand my friends before I make myself understood?
• Do I forgive my friends?
• Do I have friends that are no longer friends because of one thing they said to me? Do I need to reconcile with those friends?
• Do I pray for my friends?
• Do I encourage my friends?

Obviously, a lot more could go here since Jesus's capacity for sacrificing Himself, showing  unguarded compassion, and forgiving sin are completely endless.

To become like Him, I have to die to myself...

Reference: Laying Down Your Life for Others - InTouch Ministries

Matthew 7:1 - Don't Judge

Judge not, that you be not judged.
Matthew 7:1

The idea here is that each of us has a perspective clouded by our own failings and hangups. Until we deal with the logs in our own eyes, we will not be qualified to remove specks from others' eyes. But does anyone ever reach the point where his/her sight is clear enough to see justly? No matter how conformed to the image of Christ I am, I am still not going to be Him.

I struggle with not judging others' motives, especially if my own warped perception feels it can attach a label of "judgmental," "legalistic," or "closeminded." For a long time I have screamed "freedom" and "grace," all the while never supposing that I was simply becoming a legalist who lived on the opposite side of the spectrum, doing and being what I hate.

Some people may truly be like the Pharisees and deserve every single one of those labels, but with time I've come to realize that it is not my personal job to call them out on it. Imagine my astonishment on finding out that some people I had disregarded and resented turned out to be completely different than I first thought. Others changed from what they once were.

Part of loving others is giving them the freedom to hold their own stance, whether you fully value it or not. Time will tell. God will judge. Trying to take His job from Him is just exhausting. Focusing on relationships and a person's good qualities does a lot more to build up the body of Christ than throwing stones ever will.

 

Matthew 15:28 - Prayer + Desperation

"Dear woman," Jesus said to her, "your faith is great. Your request is granted." And her daughter was instantly healed.
Matthew 15:28

This woman's persistence is impressive. Her plight - a demon possessed daughter - is desperate, and she absolutely refuses to give up begging for Jesus to intervene. She knows He alone is her daughter's chance at wholeness, so she does not allow herself to be intimidated by protocol - the racial and gender barriers of the day. She is willing to face scorn, misunderstanding, and repeated denials.

Her actions mirror effective prayer. Her faith and trust are so fully placed in Jesus that she makes an annoyance of herself when He tells her no. She is not passive. In boldness, she is not going to let this go without a fight. I admire her strength in enduring all she could for her daughter's only hope. It's the kind of endurance that comes only through a faith that refuses to give up.

I'm sometimes a little uncomfortable with Jesus denying her repeatedly when He so quickly acted on behalf of many others, but I believe this is the way He works. Sometimes prayers are instantly answered. Other times, often in our difficult places, we have to persist. Our faith is being tested. Not out of unfairness or unkindness but to help us grow into an increasing faith.

This scene is the epitome of James 1:3-4:

Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

 Also, this reminds me of part of one of my favorite poems (which, it turns out, is a hymn):

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

-God Moves in a Mysterious Way

by William Cowper
(His story that I just learned - whoah!)

 

Mark 8:2 - I Have Compassion

I have compassion on the crowd, because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat.
Mark 8:2

Yes, Christianity is a deep worldview that can and has been analyzed and overanalyzed ad infinitum, but in this scene, Jesus demonstrates his tender (and practical) care for every aspect of our lives. Here we have a window into his heart. The multitudes probably would have stayed to listen to him and to be healed at the expense of their physical well-being, but Jesus had consideration for basic human needs.

The people had a need. He filled it. 

In this case it took a miracle to feed everyone present, but for us to show this kind of love to the world, all we have to do is notice what needs to be done. Sometimes we make our life and witness so complicated when it is so simple. Most people in the world today, even people whose lives are devoted to philosophy and deeper thought, are not in a constant state of pondering the depth of the universe. They are living their lives in real time and (consciously or subconsciously) looking for something to fill the deep spiritual hunger inside them - to know that someone cares and that they matter.

Coming at people with theological guns blazing can be very offensive, confusing, or just plain irrelevant at the moment when people are hungry, tired, stressed, irritable, or distracted. Because of this fact, I have always been hesitant when it comes to immediately asking complete strangers where they think they would go if they die. Maybe they have considered this. But, hello, I'm a perfect stranger. How is that my business? In addition, I always feel so ... insincere? procedural? I know that I myself do not want to be someone that anyone checks off their list. 

But truly caring about someone and helping them is not offensive. Showing concern or offering to pray for someone conveys that I care, and it gives me the opportunity to build a relationship with others. If my motive is, plain and simple, to act like Jesus and care, I feel that I am doing right and building a bridge that may someday be strong enough to carry those weightier questions about ultimate truth and our final destination.

It's about trust. Jesus showed that he cared in a small thing, which helps me understand that he cares in bigger things. Enough to do anything it takes to redeem and restore. Since I am trying to be like him, I need to be more practical and let my behavior be suited to the situation. We are meant to sow different seeds to different people.

All this being said, I realize I do err a little too closely to the side of the statement: Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary. I absolutely agree with that, but I'm coming around to the middle a little more. The words are necessary, but they have to be paired with authentic love and compassion.

• See also: God feeds us with deep compassion - I came across this blog when I was searching for a picture to go with mine, and I feel like this captures the essence of what I wished I had written, but I ended up going in a different direction.

Mark 12:30-31 - Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these.
Mark 12:30-31

These are the two greatest commandments - the things I should be dropping everything else for.

Jesus says we are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. The phrase is so familiar to most believers that we are in danger of just reciting it without thinking about what each area entails. We love God, of course. It's why we even bother at all. But loving in theory and loving in actuality are not the same.

God wants my heart. He doesn't want me to serve him from a motivation of guilt or a performance-based mentality. He wants me to want to serve Him. I have to check my motives carefully. Just as in any human relationship, being involved with your heart means that you care, you have feelings about what you're doing, you are enthusiastic. You can't be a passionate robot. Passion involves your emotions, not a programmed response.

God wants my soul. I had to look up exactly what is meant by soul here because the idea of "loving God with your soul" sounded very abstract to me. The soul is the very core of yourself. Who you are. Your identity. So loving with your soul involves your choices, your habits, your SELF. I would describe myself as a Christian, wife, mom, reader/writer, INFP. But somewhere in there, in fact the most crucial part, should be the fact that I love God. I need to think of myself as a God-lover before any of those other aspects.

God wants my mind. This one is the hardest one for me. My mind is all over the place, and I don't mean that as a compliment. I feel like loving God with my mind requires me to exercise self-control in a lot of my mental habits, and bring my own understanding about things into alignment with God's understanding. There are so many verses that talk about breaking down mental strongholds, thinking only on what is pure and lovely, setting one's mind on things above. I could go on and on.

God wants my strength. I usually think of myself as being pretty weak. I have emotional struggles more frequently than I would like. Sometimes my skin is too thin. But the whole point here is using my strength. Only God knows the true measure of what we are capable of. Sometimes it's strength enough just to hold on. Sometimes it's strength to grow and push through pain. The working out metaphor is used for this all the time, but it's true. You can't keep the strength you don't use. Using more than you are capable of makes you stronger. It's the tearing of muscle fibers that builds them back up. Seriously, insert the whole concept of The Biggest Loser here in a spiritual context.

I am to love my neighbor as myself. Note: this does say that I am supposed to love myself. In this passage, loving oneself is a given. A personal pet-peeve of mine is when anyone derides the concept of "self-esteem." Yes, I know it is constantly misused, but a proper, biblical understanding of it has also brought life and peace to many. 

We are broken and flawed by nature, but in Christ we are chosen, accepted, pure, righteous - with our names inscribed on God's hands. We have value because he gives us value. Loving myself doesn't mean that I love myself with my heart, soul, mind, and strength because that is reserved for God. It does mean that I agree with God about my new identity and set healthy boundaries with myself and others.

Loving others as I love myself means that I think of others and think of how to care for them spiritually, emotionally, and physically just like I do for myself. Maybe some do have to go secure their own air mask before attempting to secure the air mask of others. But reaching out and loving is good for our souls. It takes the focus off of ourselves and helps us to truly be the body of Christ.

Luke 6:27-28 - Do Good to Those Who Hate You

But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.
Luke 6:27-28

This is such a hard teaching for me. 

I would love to say I am a mirror reflecting the graciousness of God in this area, but ... I'm not. 

At all. 

It's hard enough to walk in love toward people who I care about or feel neutral towards. 

But my enemies????

Does this verse really apply to me?

Can I pray for them exclusively in the way David prayed for his enemies in a few choice Psalms?

In all seriousness, I can handle or at least attempt loving, in an abstractish sort of way. I can try to manage to pray for an enemy.

But actually actively "do[ing] good" to someone who hates me or who has hurt me or someone I love? I'm visualizing this right now, and I don't like it. Not one little bit. Just typing that makes me feel like a horrible person, but YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY DID/SAID!!!

It makes me realize I've kind of been living out a version of this verse that would say, "Tolerate your enemies. Try to avoid those who hate you. Don't say anything too mean to those who curse you. Simmer under the surface about those who hurt you."

I'm kind of scared of where obeying this verse could take me.

I'm consciously adding it to the long list of things I need to pray and seek God about.

Awesome words from my homeboys, Tenth Avenue North: here.

Luke 7:47 - Forgiven Little or Much?

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven - for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.
Luke 7:47

This is all about perspectives. All have sinned and initially share the same destination. Humanity is, by definition, flawed to the core. We who have been forgiven should all see ourselves as this woman did - amazingly grateful for being changed from darkness to light. Feeling the significance of what has happened so strongly that we can do nothing else but blubber and anoint Jesus's feet.

 

But the key is our perception. Not saying this in an absolute sense, but in general, I think it's harder for those who are "pretty okay" to fully understand the impact of the dramatic rescue Christ enacted and how much he paid for it. Sometimes it's hard for "forgiven little" people to own the seriousness of their sin, maybe imagining their sins as teeny, tiny drops in the bucket of sin Jesus paid for on the cross. After all, they're not Hitler, and they didn't do [insert thing here] or aren't [insert other thing here].

People who can fall into a "forgiven much" category, who have messed up bad, may be experiencing the serious consequences of previous actions in their daily lives. They feel the essence of their unworthiness, while at the same time accepting the gift that is redemption. They've been there. They've done that. So, as in the case of this woman, their love is passionate, driven, full.

The thing is, we've all been there and done that. If you've hated someone in your heart, you've committed murder. If you've stared a little too long at someone and imagined a little too much taking place, you've already committed adultery or fornication. The most "okay" person in the entire world has been forgiven the same amount of sin as the worst person that ever lived. Called.... all of it, should they accept the truth.

My story is pretty boring overall. Nothing too dramatic. I'm a flawed person who accepted God's grace early, continues fluctuating between trusting him and trusting myself, sometimes walking in the light, other times not. When I get lazy, I easily start adopting a "forgiven little" attitude and very cheaply esteem the grace in which I stand. When I really think about it, when God reveals a new thing I need to surrender to him or an area where I have been doing it all wrong, it's then I truly feel the weight of my sin and fully appreciate just how "much" I have been "forgiven."

 

[Notice that all the so-called lesser sins like performance and flattery are slightly hidden from the camera's view?]